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SOUTHERNERS

Southern Airboat Gallery Archives

2005 Nebraska River Run
Airboat crash pic2
#17
dad_running_the_airboat
inside r/c airboat hull
My little girls shadow
C

cntry141iq

Silent Prop
R. I. P.
SOUTHERNERS IN HEAVEN

Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have some Southerners up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "Southerners are southerners, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Hold on a minute." The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"


Gabriel replied, "I just want to know if you are having any problems with Southerners down there."


The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"


Gabriel said, "Southerners, any problems down there?"


The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on." This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Southerners have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning!!!!




GIT-R-DUN
 
There are no Southerners in Hell. They are all Yankees. When a Southerner does evil & goes to hell, he becomes a Yankee. Besides, Hell is otherwise know as the land North of the Mason Dixon. Just ask Hank Jr.

More.......

We have many folks with soul & morals come down from up North & become Southern.......hunt, fish, shoot, church, holler, football, ect. Their soul told them they were in Hell so they followed their hearts down South to our heaven. Since we (Southerners) are a hospitable people, we accept these converts. However, it's a rarity to have any go in the other direction.
 
Gatorstick, a man was once writing a book on churches ....

He started out in California, workin his way across the country, and everytime he'd visit a big church somewhere, he'd see on the wall a Golden telephone with a sign under it that said "phone calls $1000.00".

He'd asked several times and always got the same answer .... "that's a direct line to Heaven".

Well, he was about to finish up his book when he walked into a little church house over in coastal South Carolina, and there on the wall was a plain old black phone with a sign under it that said "phone calls 25 cents". He snickered and asked the old preacher "I don't guess that's one of those direct lines to Heaven, huh?"

The old preacher just smiled and said "Well, actually, yes it is. You're in the South now. It's a local call."

K.
 
What he said:

woman_thumbs_up.jpg
 
Cntry,

Was that you with the fire hose? I'd be right besid eya doin the A/C work!

Gatorstick, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Charlie Daniels say the same thing about the north!

Basketcase
 
Skynard, Daniels, Allman Brothers, even Mellencamp .... they all 'get it'.
 
I passed a roadside sign at a local tavern last week that read

"It must be nice up north right now, there are no bad drivers there!"
 
That's a good one JD. :)

Swampjet... LOL.... I tell ya what about that horn.... When I was the front boat on our ride up the river a few weeks ago, that locomotive horn came in handy... on that skinny water trail a mile south of the Indian mound, There were a bunch of cows/calves standing in the ankle deep water in the MIDDLE of the trail. A good BLAST of the horn and they scattered. :twisted:

I knew you were bringing up the rear of the line doing doughnuts... I wanted to give you a lot of room. :D

IMG_0709.JPG


matt.
 
I was borne & raised in the twin city of Bristol, tennessee/Virginia. My dad ran the Thompson Dental Laboratory there. One of his employees, a local (Jake) who had never been further away from home than the other side of town worked for him in the lab.

Jake had halped dad build the new house on his days off and had ben a tremendous assett but had little training for the dental business. One year right at the end of WWII dad sent Jake to the Bodee Dental College in Chicago, Illinios right after Christmas. Jake arrived January 15th in Chicago.

After the first week Jake called dad to check in. Dad asked how the school was and Jake confirmed it was hard but he could learn it. When asked how it was to live in Chicago for a while Jake replied......

"Mr. "T", does dey anybody live up yheah when dey ain a war a goin on!"


Now thats a true story !

Southern by the grace of God.

Scotty Thompson
 
Can't tell ya how many times I almost got my azzzzzzzzz kicked over some train horns I had mounted on my tractor trailer. I'd pull in at Hammond La. truck stop about 2-3 a.m. and wanted some company inside the grocery dept. and I'd lay on them horns for about one lap and then hide. Talk about sum pizzed off truckers,whewwwww. Got sum company tho. Thats been along time ago, I don't think I'd do it now, I wouldn't survive the whoopin. They would scare me and I was blowing them. Crazy times back then.
 
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